


Prickly Qualms

by sardonyx164



Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hospitals, Needles, Nurses & Nursing, One Shot, Platonic Kisses, Screenplay/Script Format, Trypanophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24956530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonyx164/pseuds/sardonyx164
Summary: Nigel has to get a shot....The "one shot" pun was not on purpose, by the way.
Relationships: Nigel Uno & Chad Dickson
Kudos: 3
Collections: HMS Twelve Hundred Seventy Four





	Prickly Qualms

**Author's Note:**

> Does this story take place after Operation Domiciliate?  
> Is this a dream?  
> Does this take place in the canon universe where Nigel is working as a galactic operative...um, janitor?
> 
> Just like with "Encouragement", I gave up on trying to think of timeline stuff and decided to make it into a one-shot.
> 
> ...The pun was not deliberate, by the way. 
> 
> -There is a character named Numbuh Interval that is mentioned here. She's an OC that first appeared in Operation Domiciliate...and in this one shot, everything is the same about her except that she's a nurse instead of a health psychologist.

_[Scene: a nurse’s office on the Galactic Kids Next Door spaceship. Except for the medical bed, medical cabinets, and a sink, the office looks quite similar to a library; there are bookshelves each holding many different books, a sofa, a fireplace, a few rocking chairs, and a...piano. No, I’m not joking; apparently, galactic operatives use Earth libraries as medical wards. But anyway, back to the story. Nigel is sitting on a medical bed and drumming his fingers against the bed impatiently]_

**Nigel:** Where is that nurse?! Don’t tell me he decided to ignore me because I’m a _human_...! [the door opens] Finally, you’re...here...?

_[Surprise, surprise; Chad walks into the...office. The teen is wearing a lab coat and has a stethoscope around his neck. Chad is also carrying a clipboard in his hand; the teen nods and mutters to himself as he looks over said clipboard. After a few moments, Chad finishes reading what’s on the clipboard and looks up at Nigel, who is still drumming his fingers against the bed]_

**Chad:** [winking at Nigel] Hey~

 **Nigel:** [facepalms] Oh, great. _You’re_ my nurse..

 **Chad:** [shrugs] Well, yeah. You _wanted_ me to be your nurse, so...here I am.

 **Nigel:** _Why_ did Numbuh Interval decide to make you work part time here...?

 **Chad:** Uh...because we wanted to make sure she wasn’t overworking herself? Don’t you remember that?

 **Nigel:** [crossing his arms] Yes, I remember...

 **Chad:** [worried] Hey, what’s wrong? You seem...tense.

 **Nigel:** [sighing out of exasperation and exhaustion] I just had a very, very, _very_ long and tiring day, alright?

 **Chad:** What happened?

 **Nigel** : [gritting his teeth] Let’s just say that I will _never_ enjoy school _ever again._

 **Chad:**...Ah.

 **Nigel:** [taking a deep breath] Look, Chad, can we just... get this checkup over with? I _need_ to get some rest as soon as possible.

 **Chad:** [regretfully] Ah, sorry, kid. This appointment of yours is going to take some time. I...need to give you something that you don’t like.

 **Nigel:** [stonily]...You’re going to inject me with a needle, aren’t you?

 **Chad:** [smiling awkwardly/sheepishly] Yeah, sorry.

_[Nigel groans and covers his face with his hands. Chad starts softly humming a familiar tune as he starts looking through the cabinets; the teen’s gentle humming manages to make Nigel calm down a bit. After a few moments, Chad manages to find a container of numbing cream]_

**Chad:** Well, if it makes you feel any better, there’s some numbing cream here that will make the needle hurt a lot less. You want to try it?

 **Nigel:** [uncovering his face]...Sure.

_[Chad washes his hands and then starts applying the cream to Nigel’s upper arm; the younger boy calms down even more at Chad’s gentle touch. About ten seconds later, Chad finishes applying the cream and takes his hands off of Nigel, which makes the younger boy growl a bit out of disappointment. Chad shrugs as if to say “I’ll make it up to you after this appointment, okay?”, and then he starts washing his hands again in preparation for the checkup]_

**Chad:** Okay, so...the cream’s effects will activate in about, say, an hour.

 **Nigel:** [bitterly] Wonderful.

 **Chad:** [patting Nigel’s cheek] Hey, don’t you worry about a thing. Nurse Chad will make sure you feel all better~

 **Nigel:**...Chad, would you _please_ remind me _why_ I have to get a shot?

 **Chad:** [gently taking Nigel’s hand] Well, I need to make sure you don’t get sick from any galactic diseases. You see...how do I explain this... shots contain bits of dead viruses, and those dead viruses are target practice for the real thing. Think of it as...how the Arctic Base uses adult robots to train cadets. Understand?

 **Nigel:** [quietly]...Yes, I understand.

 **Chad:** [washing his hands again] Good. Now...are you ready for your checkup?

 **Nigel:** [wiping a stray tear from his face] Not really...

 **Chad:** [strictly] Nigel, listen. Don’t think about _that_ right now because you’re just gonna stress yourself out. [softly] Here’s what I want you to do: I want you to forget about everything else and focus all of your attention on me, okay? Just take some deep breaths and relax.

 **Nigel:** [taking a deep breath] Okay...

 **Chad:** You see, Nigel, I’m here to check your heartbeat, eyes, reflexes, ears...oh, I’ll even clean out your ears if you want me to. Does that sound good?

 **Nigel:** [taking a deep breath]...Yes. [taking another deep breath]...Um, I’m ready for my checkup now...

 **Chad:** Alright, good. You’re doing great with your deep breaths, by the way. [putting his stethoscope on] Now let’s get started with this checkup...

 _[Cut to: about_ _an hour_ _later. Chad is writing in his clipboard,_ _while Nigel is lookin_ _g at the floor and twiddling his fingers]_

 **Nigel:** [bashfully/happily] Um, thank you, Chad. You’re, uh, a really great nurse, you know? [blushing a bit] I especially liked the part where you cleaned out my ears...

 **Chad:** [washing his hands again] Eh, the only thanks I _really_ need is seeing you happy and healthy.

 **Nigel:** [quivering a little] But... _that_ is next, isn’t it...?

 **Chad:** [preparing a needle] Yeah. Sorry, kid.

 **Nigel:** [shaking more] Chad...please hold my hand...[shutting his eyes]... _I’m scared..._

 **Chad:** [gently] I understand. [he takes Nigel’s hand and squeezes it] Remember that cream I gave you? The shot’s going to be a lot less painful because of that.

 **Nigel:** [tearing up] Okay...

 **Chad:** Now there’s something I want you to do for me, and that is to...[he points behind Nigel]...look at that very distracting object!

_[Nigel instinctively turns his head. Chad takes his chance to inject Nigel with the needle...and Nigel doesn’t even react. Chad tosses the used needle away, washes his hands, and squeezes Nigel’s hand again]_

**Nigel:** [turning his head back to Chad] You liar, there was nothing there!

 **Chad:** Oh, hey, speaking of nothing...did you feel the shot?

 **Nigel:**...What shot?

 **Chad:** [putting a bandage on Nigel’s arm] Exactly~

 **Nigel:** [smiling a little] Wow...that actually wasn’t so bad. Thank you, Chad.

 **Chad:** Okay, so I assume that you’re going to be okay with me giving you shots every few appointments? [Nigel stammers] You know, so you _stay healthy_?

 **Nigel:** [blushing and looking at the floor] Well, if you’re going to keep treating me, then I _guess_ I can handle a few more shots...

 **Chad:** [kissing Nigel’s forehead] Great! I gotta say, Nigel, you were the best patient I ever had.

 **Nigel:**...I’m the only patient you ever had.

 **Chad:** [pinching Nigel’s cheek] You’re the only patient I ever want to work with. And the only patient I _can_ work with, because I know next to nothing about any of these galactic kids. Your point?

_[Nigel just reacts with an affectionate yet angry facepalm. Chad kisses Nigel on the scalp and then looks at the clock on the wall]_

**Chad:** Hmm...I still have two hours of my shift left. [looking through his clipboard] Let’s see, what can I do to help you feel better...? [gasping joyfully] Wait, that’s it!

 **Nigel:** What? What is ‘it’...?

 **Chad:** Well, Numbuh Interval suggested something called oxytocin therapy, which is supposed to help decrease your stress by like...a hundred fold!

 **Nigel:** [curiously] What does it involve?

 **Chad:** Let me take a look...a scalp massage--

 **Nigel:** [perking up] Yes?

 **Chad:** \--a full _upper body_ massage--

 **Nigel:** Ooh...

 **Chad:** \--some gentle kissing--

 **Nigel:** Oh, now _that_ sounds nice...

 **Chad:** \--and then after all that...

_[Chad starts toeing at the ground]_

**Chad** : [chuckling bashfully]...you get to cuddle up with me~

 **Nigel:** [impatiently] Well, what are you waiting for?! Don’t just stand there! Help me feel better!

 **Chad:** [playfully] That’s no way to talk to your nurse, kid. [washing his hands again] Just... lie your head down on the warm pillow, okay?

_[Nigel does what Chad asks. The younger boy hums happily when he feels how warm and fluffy the pillow is]_

**Nigel** : Ah...so soft and warm~

 **Chad:** Yeah, I could say the same thing about you.

_[Chad walks up to the bed and smiles warmly/playfully at Nigel, who returns the smile]_

**Chad** : Okay. [gently putting his hands on Nigel’s scalp] You ready for your treatment?

 **Nigel:** [sighing happily] Absolutely, old friend.

End

**Author's Note:**

> If galactic operatives can build a big spaceship, then they can find ways to keep libraries sterile.
> 
> Also, look at this:  
> https://www.mountsinai.on.ca/care/psych/patient-programs/inpatient-services/activities-of-daily-living
> 
> I learned about this after I posted this story. Just goes to show that truth can be stranger/cooler than fiction, and that you learn something new every day.
> 
> -Why is Chad washing his hands so much? One, he's a nurse. Two, he picked up the habit from Nigel. And three...well, if you've read "Earnest", you'll see that Chad has obsessive thoughts about responsibility. People with OCD will always obsess over something; if they stop obsessing over responsibility, they'll just obsess over germs instead.
> 
> -Is this a hospital or a spa? Well, considering that the GKND likely got all of their info from TV, they concluded that humans go to spas and hospitals to get better. And this oxytocin thing helps humans feel better, right? So why not include massages into their treatment plan?  
> ...Makes you think about the effects of oxytocin on galactic operatives, though. Also, does oxytocin go by different names in the galaxy...? 
> 
> -Did I ever mention that I love the idea of Chad being Nigel's nurse/psychologist/ caretaker? Because I do. It would make a lot of sense, too: the galactic nurses don't know how to treat humans (and Chad likely wouldn't want anyone else to look after Nigel), so they just let Chad take care of Nigel.


End file.
